We're excited to have Jonathan share this post with us.  Jonathan, Melissa, and their three girls recently moved to Jacksonville with the military.  Jonathan and Melissa serve in CrossingKids.

Over the last twelve and a half years, our family has had the opportunity to move seven times. During each of these moves we were confronted with the dilemma of church hunting. Some of these locations we were never able to find a church that “fit;” in others we discovered a church family whose relationships remain to this day. As we have pondered this disparity, it became evident that the results of our church hunt were more reflective of our attitudes than the existence of compatible churches in our new area. God has certainly blessed us with this revelation and we feel it is a common struggle amongst Christians.

It is impossible for us to count the number of churches we have attended, but we could estimate the number to be around twenty. With twenty churches under our belt, we can very easily count the number of church families we’ve had…three. Three of twenty is not very good odds and begs the question, what was the difference? As it turns out, the issue was not that we were in cities that simply did not possess churches that “fit” us, rather our attitudes changed. Those three church families emerged from just the last seven, and what is probably more telling is that two of those church families emerged in cities which we had previously lived and not discovered!

After three years in one location without finding a church home, we were in desperate need for God’s family. We discussed our plan for our next move and decided that we would change our search method. Historically, we found ourselves simply seeking the church that most closely resembled the last church we felt “comfortable” in. As it turns out, we may have been better off searching for a unicorn! No local church is going to be the same as another; as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:12...

“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.”

While Paul is describing the members within the larger church body, its corollary is found in the local churches making up the general church body as defined by the bride of Christ. So STEP ONE to our search was to stop looking for a Similar Church whose peripheral characteristics are what we had been used to and focus instead on ensuring it is biblically sound.

While it’s easy to say that, the peripheral items unfortunately often carry more weight than the biblical ones. The music will be different, the people will look different (they may have some weird beard thing going on), the child care may be well developed or it may be simplistic, they may have Sunday School, Wednesday night fellowship, bible studies, community groups, women’s groups, men’s groups, devotional breakfasts, mid 20’s groups, mid 30’s with kids groups, newlywed groups…the list goes on and on. It just does not matter, adaptation will happen and what you previously thought to be weird, may turn out to be just the change God was looking to make in your life…it was for us!

STEP TWO can best be described as Diving In. We often found ourselves just attending on Sundays and leaving afterward. Offers of potlucks and dining out were pushed aside for family time and we rushed home where we comfortably sat…without a church family. Instead of looking for the church that focused on community, we were satisfied with the crumbs that fell off the table on Sunday mornings.

In all three church families we mentioned above, we became members, covenant partners, whatever it’s called and we served the church body. This service took different forms and is arguably irrelevant; the significance is found in the relationships we built during those periods of service. Like any family, if you operate autonomously your relationships will crumble…if they can ever be defined as relationships in the first place. Instead, a cooperative environment, one where you are depended upon, where you depend upon others, this is an environment that breeds relationships and community. As Luke states in Acts 2:46-47...

“And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”

It is easy to miss the significance here, but God is revealing to us the secret of salvation…Preaching and Food! How many times have you invited someone to your home for dinner that you did not want to build or maintain a relationship with? God added to the number of believers because they simply hung out together, which means they were willing to sacrifice their time to be a part of the community. This begins with simply attending church, but it cannot stop there. You will never build those “dinner relationships” with people you sit next to for an hour and shake their hand during the greeting time and reintroduce yourself every week. Participation in the body, in whatever form, will build dependence upon you and upon others, which in turn builds relationships. As these relationships build, the term “community” can actually be ascribed and that community, as Luke states, is what ultimately leads to the salvation of many.

God has changed our lives over the last six years and we can truly say that it began with us stopping the search for a Similar Church and simply picking a church that adheres to biblical doctrine. Next, we started Diving In. We participated in the community, we depended on them and they depended on us and relationships grew. Ultimately, these relationships resulted in church families that survive to this day despite living thousands of miles away. As Paul sought to maintain contact with the church families he left, so too we desire to maintain those relationships because they are built upon the foundation of God, brothers and sisters in the family of God.